The Process of Maturation

Sometimes it seems particularly hard to traverse the uncertain terrain of maturation. At times, I feel capable of seeing forward, of thinking ahead and being able to respond accordingly, in a manner that builds my character and develops my understanding of the world around me outside of my own internal world.

However, at other times, it feels like walking up a mountain backwards with thongs on. It’s just plain hard. Everything seems to happen so quickly that my mind just feels drugged and incapable of constructive thought. Continue reading

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Let the little children come to Me

I used to think that God wanted me to grow up. Be responsible. Be adult. If I could impress him with my maturity, he would love me more: I would be acceptable. And yet I would yearn to just sit in His arms, like a little girl, oblivious to the demands of adult life that I found myself confronted with daily; able to just gaze into his beautiful face and be full of awe and wonder at a Creator who could love me so much.

This daily pursuit of how I would go to Father God, would send me in a tail spin more often than not: some days, I would feel delighted that I had spent time with my Father who loves me, and others, I would feel annoyed that I was not more mature whilst encountering him! Continue reading

Inner contentment

Phillipians 4:7 (Amplified version)

‘And God’s peace (shall be yours, that tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and being content with its earthly lot of whatever sort that is, that peace) which transcends all understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.’

being content with its earthly lot of whatever sort that is…

I crave this contentment.  It’s like a driving force that compels me to know more, to want more, to understand more.  So I ask what it will take to come to this place of peace.

‘The only one who needs to ‘see’ you, is Me’

This sentence brought me to tears today, as the realisation dawned that I am not at all comfortable or content in the truth of ‘you in me and me in you’ and there being nothing in between. Continue reading