I’ve been learning recently about obedience, discipline, coming into alignment with the plans of God and understanding how my everyday choices impact my relationship with him.
I tried to fast for the week before our trip to the States. It was a total bust. Farcical really. I had felt that Holy Spirit had encouraged me to do this, saying that it would impact how I receive a blessing from him.
So I tried. I tried real hard. Actually it was probably quite amusing to watch me striving and straining to ‘get it right’
Does any of this sound familiar?
So since I totally failed at trying to be the most disciplined, the most obedient I could be, I simply gave up.
When I inquired of the Lord as to why he asked me to do something that I clearly couldn’t achieve, he simply answered with clarifying one really important fact: you cannot earn a blessing from God. You just can’t.
So now as I sit in this massive plane, I have had another epiphany about all this craziness. As I was attempting to understand how I could still be ‘eligible’ for this up and coming promised blessing in Phoenix, I realised that perhaps I had been seeing things backwards.
Perhaps what I was thinking was back to front. Then the penny finally and graciously dropped.
My failure at being obedient and disciplined wasn’t a failure at all. It was exactly what he knew would happen.
And the blessing that he said I couldn’t earn is still most certainly mine because the lesson here wasn’t about being obedient and disciplined as I thought. It was about realizing that I can do nothing to cause the favour of God to rest upon me. It is purely his delight in me that causes his face to shine upon me and his face shines upon me at all times.
So I am always living in his favour. Always dwelling in the blessing.
I think too that the blessing in this case, is partly in the realization that I’ve nothing else to do but sit back and receive.
So as the few remaining hours of our flight begin to pass by, I feel encouraged and recharged. I feel a burden has been lifted from my mind. You cannot earn Gods love or his blessings. He simply is love and as I receive more of him in me, I simply receive more…of him.