When it’s hard to believe

The truth as I see it is this:  sometimes it’s hard to believe that what is good in life, is not just for other people, but is actually for me too.  I often find it very easy to encourage others to believe that they are worth the goodness of God but it was just this evening while I was taking some time out to rest, that I realised that perhaps there are times that I don’t really believe I am deserving of that same goodness.

Hmm… at first I thought to myself ‘Don’t be absurd Miriam.  Of course you believe that you are worth the goodness of God’, but then as I lay there in the darkened room, listening to the soaking cd that I had recorded the other day, I caught myself hearing the words that I had felt were straight from the Father’s heart.  My first thoughts were about how these songs would impact the listener, forgetting momentarily that I too am the listener.

I felt that unmistakeable still small voice whisper into my heart: ‘You don’t think this is for you but it is’.  I began to argue but then realised that I had not yet listened to this music or much of any other music that I’ve written, from the ‘receiving’ point of view. I realised that perhaps I’ve been shortchanging myself.

It then occurred to me that so many times it is easy for us to receive God’s goodness for those around us.  We see the immediate impact of his love, his mercy and grace upon the person we are encouraging.  It feels so good too!  To see that heart being healed and that mindset restored, doesn’t it?

A good friend of mine was recently speaking at church about the subject of ‘no condemnation’.  She mentioned that whenever she read something in the Bible or got a word of encouragement for another person, she always added the disclaimer ‘but not including…’ and added her personal name.  She said that it was so easy for her to see that God’s goodness was available to everyone except her, because in her mind, she never measured up.

It’s taken me two weeks to conclude that I automatically do the same thing.  What a revelation.

But this time, I feel no condemnation.  Just realisation.

Jesus came for one and all.  There is no distinction about who He came to save.  And all that the Bible tells us, is for us, is for ALL of us 🙂

Last time I checked, I was a part of ALL of us. 😀

So I will go to sleep tonight with the decision to let myself receive… may you too feel that you are part of the ALL that was worth Jesus coming and saving.



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