Oh My Goodness… how long does it take a soul to finally accept what it has always known to be true? My whole life I have had a love/hate relationship with my creativity… a bond that both strangles me and releases me, a capacity that drives my senses to confusion and yet compels me to strive for that ‘perfect’ sound, that ‘just right’ note… that exquisite phrase…
I have tried almost every kind of work there is. Honestly, apart from becoming a Minor or a CEO, I’ve tried anything and everything that I have been capable to do. And failed at every single one of them. Some miserably 😀
Just now, I sit here at my laptop and keystation, attempting to create a piece of techno style music, pushing my creative skills to the edge for the first time this year. My son sent me a link to a favourite artist of ours, Josh Garrels, and as I watched this perfectly produced and serene song come to life in yet another way (he always surprises us!), it dawned on me.
I am a composer. I am a writer of verse, a scribe of sound, a manipulator of frequencies. This is who I am. No matter how many jobs I try to do, no matter how many ways in which I attempt to earn an income, one thing remains constant and true: music is the colour palette of my soul and without it my world is just grey.
Of course I will always write in this kind of vein as well. And I will always pick up a paintbrush and splash the colours that grow inside, onto a canvas and I will always strive to find new ways in which to be creative. I must. It’s in my DNA. I cannot avoid it. I’ve tried.
So today, with a new sense of recklessness, I plunge into the waters that have beckoned me since the beginning of time and choose to go deeper than I’ve ever gone before.